Donut Family
by artisticRadifyer
Summary: Greg found employment at the Big Donut shop instead of the It's A Wash car-wash. Donut Family Shorts has some extra content.
1. Gem Glow

**Donut Family**

AU

[Rights go to Rebecca Sugar, plus Joe Johnston and Jeff Liu. At least half of the dialogue in the entire story is straight from the show.]

 _Greg ends up working at the Big Donut instead._

- _This is dialogue heavy, as it follows the episodic format. But I will put links to my tumblr which will have background art and the blueprints for the Old Wash on my profile.-_

 **Tid-Bit Notes:** This story, strangely, has flowed like hot butter. Probably since the story line is already established and I don't have to worry about the setting that much; readers will most likely remember all the settings I pose for them.

 **-artisticRadifyer**

 **Ch. 1 Gem Glow**

"NOOOOOO!"

"We aren't that far away, Buddy."

"Lars! Lars! Tell me I'm dreaming!" Steven clung to the employee.

"You're dreaming," the lanky boy deadpanned, "Now get off; I'm stocking."

"But, how can they get rid of Cookie Cat? You took out the cooler, too! That means they're gone for good!"

"I guess they just," Sadie faltered in the face of Steven's briefly hopeful look, "stopped making them."

"Why would they stop making them, though?! They're the best ice cream sandwiches ever made! Don't they have LAWS for this?"

"Tough Bits, man. Nobody buys them anymore. They just couldn't compete with Lion Lickers..."

"Ugh. Lion Lickers? Nobody likes those! They don't even look like lions! Kids these days..."

"I think you mean 'teens these days' with how much the trio gets them," Greg commented.

"If you miss them so much, maybe you should bring them back with your Magic Belly Button!~"

"That's not how it works, Lars... The gems say I'm supposed to have a weapon."

"Because you can totally fight the Lion Lickers to let the Cookie Cats have their spotlight back."

"Lars, stop being mean to him. -"

"Still," Steven gently overrode Sadie, "will I ever get my weapon?"

"We don't know, Ste-man. Now, you two, you said you wanted to tell him. Do it before I do."

"Yeah. Come on, you weird Belly-Gem."

Steven followed Lars and Sadie to the break room, where the freezer he thought was missing and thrown out stood in the corner, full of the discontinued treat.

"WHAAAAT?! You still have some? Yes!"

"We bought a few grocery stores' stock of them."

"You mean _I_ did," Greg corrected from the doorway to the front, monitoring for customers.

"We all thought about it though," Lars re-pitched.

"You weren't even _here_ when we got the notice," Sadie pointed out.

"Eee! I'm so glad you got me these!"

"Well, they are your favorite..."

"OOOHH~," Steven began a note.

"I'm manning the front. Bye," Lars scrambled to get away from the song.

Sadie, being left sole audience to the performance until Greg came back in the middle of it, sang back-up chorus with him. The father and female friend both congratulated the boy on it as he declared he would save them all after enjoying the first of the last batch of Cookie Cats.

He sat on a platform of napkins that made a chair, "I like to eat the ears first!" The first ear was dismembered and Steven hummed his joy. His gem grew bright under his junior donut shirt and the others noticed it.

"Uh, Bud?"

"What- Ah! My gem!"

"Didn't you say something about a weapon earlier?!" Sadie stood, ready to dodge.

"BUT- Ah! Uh? I don't know how!" The glow began to fade. "It's fading! How do I make it come back?!" Steven panted as he jittered in place.

"Whoa, Steven! Calm down! Breathe..." Greg soothed.

"Let's not make a vein pop or something..."

"That'd make the third visit to the Barrigas this pay period for doctoring."

The glow dimmed out.

"Awww..."

"It's ohkay, Ste-Man. You'll learn it."

"Learn?" Sadie caught, "Is there a technique he needs to be taught?"

"Like, from a teacher?" Greg paused as he thought it out, "...The gems could probably do it. I don't think you want it popping out randomly, huh?"

"I don't wanna hurt anyone!" Steven put the rest of the treat in the freezer it came from.

"Sadie, go with him to the Temple. If there's a monster around you both leave as quick as you can. Understand?"

"Sure. Come on."

The two grabbed their things and Steven led the way through the front.

"Going already?"

"You missed it, Lars! My gem was _glowing_!"

"Uh huh." The young man addressed the young lady, "Why are you two leaving early?"

Greg implied his blessing on the impromptu trip, "She's taking Steven to the gems."

"Y'all are crazy."

"See you tonight, Lars, Dad!"

"Later, Stew-Ball!"

Outside, Sadie began to walk to the beach's cliff-peninsula, but Steven called her towards the Old-Wash, "They seem to feel better when I wear one of my Star shirts. That way you can change too!"

"Why do you want _me_ to change?"

"You said last time you fought a monster that work clothes were hard to fight in. And, you never know in Beach City.~"

"Alright, you goofball. You give a good point."

* * *

They approached the Temple, all three of the gems were out in the open, rounding up huge bugs that Pearl yelled out were ''Centipeetles,' not 'Milipeetles'' at Amethyst. The last few were almost stomped out, so Steven and Sadie waited for them to completely dispose of them. The gems noticed the two organic bodies because a hiding bug popped out of its hiding spot to lunge at the two.

Garnet snagged it by the tail-end and tossed it over her shoulder onto the spear Pearl still held without looking, "Sorry, I thought you would wait at the bottom longer."

"...That's alright, ma'am."

"Garnet! Can one of you guys explain how to summon a weapon?"

"Why do you wanna explanation?" Amethyst scoffed, "It's so _easy_."

"He may not even be able to make one at all; since he's organic, Amethyst. But! Don't worry, Steven. You'll be fighting in no time. I'll even go first!~"

Sadie and Steven were told to follow Pearl up a hill to a large, blossoming tree. Pearl's lesson was very short, with not a single, true explanation, but there was a mini physics lesson and a demonstration that was a bit impressive on Sadie, simply because she's never seen a gem summon their weapon.

Next was Amethyst, and on their way back to the Temple, they found her outside The Big Donut. Her demonstration was destructive and short, with no explanation because it was so 'natural.' The destruction was, fortunately, normal enough that the company knew to set aside a small budget for Beach City's store for random repairs and replacements; in this case, the dumpster again.

The last was at the Temple with Garnet, whom gave an explanation, but one that possibly only applied to gems. Steven could not feel the 'energy of all existing matter' with conscious knowledge of the physics he was touching or sensing. It barely made sense to Sadie and she had gone through school already.

The boy and young woman bid goodbye and Sadie contemplated each lesson, "I think you just do it one day and it'll be peaches."

"Pearl said she worked really hard, though."

"She does it super easy now, after getting it the first time through work, right?"

"Maybe? What about Garnet?"

"I think she tried to explain it with logic and physics. Two things that I know more of than you do, but I still don't quite understand what she meant."

"Uh..."

"Wait for it naturally, Steven. It'll come."

"Ohkay." They shared a pleasant silence until they were in sight of the street the Big Donut was down again, "Can I go get a Cookie Cat?"

"We have a box in the Ol' Wash. You can have one with dinner."

"Ooooh! What about the cooler?"

"If Greg is ohkay finding a spot for it in one of the curtains, then I don't see why we couldn't bring it home."

"WooHoo! Cookie Cat! Cookie Cat!"

* * *

"I'm done eating!"

"Go grab ya one, then," Greg allowed.

"Eeee!"

"He's gonna be so disappointed when those run out," Lars predicted.

"I think they're making a movie for the mascot," Sadie pulled out her phone.

"Cookie Cat: the Movie? You're joking."

"Nope." Sadie shows the two men the screen, "I was looking for one of the toys you could win from the box package, and I found a bunch of merchandise for an upcoming movie."

"So, Christmas? His birthday? Another holiday you get presents on?"

"Where are they?!" Steven shouted from inside the building.

"They're hidden kinda deep!" stated Greg. "Just put everything back in the right way! Alright?"

"Yeohkay!"

"His birthday," Sadie answered, then continued, "And, yes, they're cheap enough for any of us to buy; or we could lump like we did last year."

"Anything we do," Lars said, "he'll be happy with."

"Heh," Greg chuckled. "That's true. Not like he seems to care for material things _that_ much."

"I got em! I'm puttin' em close to the top middle!"

"Good job, Steven!" both Sadie and Greg called.

Steven rushed out with an idea, "I think my best bet would be to do the same thing that happened last time my gem glowed."

"So, singing and eating?" Lars asked with some skepticism. "You do that all the time."

"It's still a smart idea," Sadie defended the boy.

Steven began to sing again, but in his earnest, didn't try for quality, but rather speed: ending after three spliced lines from the song.

"Aw."

"Sheesh, Steven. It sounded better a whole room away earlier today. You shouldn't be so impatient."

"Hypocrite," Sadie growled.

"I mean, taking your time helps you enjoy the small things in life."

"Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem."

"They will still let you help on any missions if you ever want to, Bud. I'm sure of it," Greg reassured his son.

"And, you know:" Sadie said softly, "You still got us."

"Even if some of us didn't _plan_ on it, you're good to have around," Lars admitted.

Steven smiled, "Yeah. Even if I don't have powers, I've still got: Cookie Cat!" He ate the ear off of the treat and his gem glowed once more.

It grew brighter and brighter, until out materialized his weapon.

"Whoa!" Lars about broke the chair he was sitting in, "Is that a frisbee?"

"His mother's shield…"

"What are ya- Whooooaaa..." Steven admired the shield protruding from the light in front of his stomach. "Cool!" His shield, at the movement made with the exclamation, shot off to rebound a few times against the building-until sticking out of the small TV on a small table.

"Well, at least it's also offensive," Sadie broke the shocked silence.

"Stew-Ball, you're gonna be like Captain America!"

"Was Mom like that?"

"You bet. In fact, better!"

"Sadie! Lars! Captain America!"

"Yep," Sadie agreed, "Good job, Steven!"

"That was...very bright," said Lars.

"Can you do it again?" Sadie referred to the conversation from earlier that day, "Now that you did it once?"

"Like we said earlier? Ummmm..." Steven concentrated for a moment, "No."

"Hm. Still, you'll get it. And now we know you don't _not_ have powers."

A rumble sounded through the city, and after looking around, it was another monster near the Temple. From the angle the Old Wash was at in the city, they could only see a brief glimpse when the monster curled around the lighthouse.

The group went inside, Greg muttering, "I'm so glad he doesn't fight yet."

"HEY! Where were we gonna but the Cookie Freezer?!"

 **Bonus:**

"THIS THING IS GETTING ACID EVERYWHERE!"

"WHY IS EVERYTHING MELTING?!"

"WE NEED TO ELECTROCUTE IT!"

"WHERE ARE WE GONNA GET ELECTRICITY?!"

"Oh. WRONG FUTURE!"


	2. Laser Light Conon

**Donut Family**

AU

[Rebecca Sugar, plus Kat Morris and herself.]

 _This episode expositions that Steven's mom is a Gem. I feel it wouldn't be so specifically mentioned the way it is canonically. So, I did this!_

- _He REALLY isn't all that involved with the gems in the beginning of this AU, despite the next chapter. All the more to get the tension super high when he is.~-_

 **Tid-Bit Notes:** I'm increasingly thinking ways to bring the episodes about without the gems. Some are really easy and some require _quite_ the creativity.

 **-artisticRadifyer**

 **Ch. 2 Laser Light Cannon**

Steven ran ahead of Lars' languid pace to the counter of Beach Citywalk Fries, just as the owner re-entered his shop, "Hey, Fryman! Gimme the Bits!"

"Steven, we're closed."

"Aw, what?"

"You know I'll only eat the baked chips," Lars leaned sideways to be in view of the man in the shop.

Steven bounced in place a bit, "Even Lars wants some'n, though!"

"Alright, alright..." Fryman conceded, "I can give y'all actual fries you know..."

"Just the Bits, please!"

"Lars?"

"I don't wanna give you shrink or somethin'. Just leftover chips if ya have 'em."

Fryman shrugged and gave them their orders, "Bye."

Steven waved back for Lars and himself. "It's such a nice sunset. I think that's my favorite time of day. When the sun goes down, and the second one gets bigger and bigger in the sky..."

Lars snorted, "Yeah, that big ol', really hot second sunnnnnahhHH! What the-"

Steven realised what he said and what he was seeing, "What... _is_ it?"

"Why would _I_ know?!"

"...Let's go get Dad!"

"S-sure, Greg can help. ...Hopefully."

"'Course he will!"

The Old Wash had the van parked out front, and while Lars went inside to check for Greg, Steven attempted to set off the van's alarm. The man exploded out the van's back doors while he brandished a cold waffle iron, "Who's there? I've gotta waffle iron!"

"Dad, it's me!"

Greg blinked slowly and turned the alarm off, "Steven? I almost waffled your face! What are you doing up so late?"

Steven had come down to hug his father while he spoke, "What do you mean? The sun went down an hour ago."

"More like forty minutes ago," Lars emerged from the Wash.

"Oh." Greg sheepishly tried to excuse himself, "Heheh, I forgot I was taking a nap."

"Well, if it matters: While you were sleeping, a giant ball is hurtling towards Beach City!"

"What?!"

Lars and Steven both pointed to what looked like monotoned red eyeball. All three of them saw a purple speck fly out to the eyeball, land on the front and fall to the ocean.

"Are the gems...throwing Amethyst?" Greg asked at large.

The sequence repeated in their confused silence.

"Guess so," Steven shrugged.

"Well," Lars scoffed, "they won't ever get it down that way."

"What can _we_ do that _they_ can't?" Greg asked.

"We can shoot it...?"

Steven was impressed, "Really? Cool!"

"Lars, go to your parents house and get a good amount of firearms. If you see Sadie, tell her to do the same at Barb's. Steven and I'll look in the garage."

"You sure it'll work?"

"You're the one who suggested it! Go!"

"Ohkay, ohkay! Gah..."

Father and son traveled a few blocks and a half down to the U-Stor and opened up Greg's storage unit.

"In here?" Steven questioned, "But, I've gone in here before!"

"I don't think you were looking for any weapons then. Besides have you ever gone all the way to the very back?" Greg countered.

"...No."

"Then it won't hurt to try."

Steven prodded at some boxes and they fell over because of it. "If I'm going in there, I'm gonna need some gear!" he declared as he grabbed a sock, a flashlight, and extension cords near the entrance. The sock is tied around his head to hold the flashlight nestled in his hair in place, and the extension cords are for when he finds anything. "Here I go!"

"Good luck."

Steven found a golf-club-set almost immediately and pushes it out to his father. He also found other medium, on-the-ground range weapons to push out, but no long range on-the-ground, or even atmosphere range ones.

Further in, Steven shouted a victory, only to see he picked up a T-Shirt cannon. He discovered some of his dad's CDs and pocketed one for later. He sank to his knees again and one of his knees landed on a picture of his mom and dad together, "Uh, I broke a photo of you and mom!"

"It's ohkay, Buddy! I can just get a new one one of these days. Besides, if every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hotdogs!"

A glow in front of Steven, which illuminated the back wall, shone bright in response to the words. The searcher drew close and found a huge, pink, glowing cannon.

"Dad, get the van! This thing is huge and might be the only thing that'll work in here!"

After they tied it up with more extension cords, Greg fired up the van and floored the pedal, which extracted all of the unit's storage.

"How are we gonna use this thing? It's too big for the van!"

A classic, wooden, red wagon rolled up to them from the pile of storage. The two lifted it in, and it falls through the bottom, despite their efforts. It scraped an awful sound when the vehicle began its journey to the far beach-the side the Big Donut resided on.

"Is it gonna be ohkay?"

"Mmm... Man, that thing is getting huge," Greg noticed. "It's...just... It's freaking me out!"

"Can't the van go any faster?!"

"This is faster!"

"Uh- Don't worry. C-Come on, let's put on your CD."

Steven slid the CD he snagged into the CD slot of the radio to listen to his father's voice in it's prime.

"What? Really? Uh, come on, you've heard it..."

Greg's music blared semi-loud in the van and Steven sang along as it traverses its final stretch. They settled on the beach, blaring music permeated the air as the father and son exited of the van.

The eye was much closer and for some reason began to suck up things. The van slid, taking the cannon with it, but Greg unhooked it, "Blast that thing!"

"Blast! Go! Activate! Please work! Turn on! Unlock!" Steven rambled, but to no effect. "...Come on, everyone's counting on you! You can't just be useless! I know you can help!"

"It's ohkay, Steven!" Greg nodded towards Sadie, Lars, Barb, Martha, Dante, Vidalia, and Mr. Smiley running to them with firearms, "We'll figure it out together! Something even better!"

"R-r-right! If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs...!" The activation code spoken, the cannon lit up with a rosey hue. The top end split open petal by petal, and flopped heavily to the ground.

Having scrambled to the shooting end, Steven strained to pick up the heavy tube. Lightening considerably as some of the group of grownups reached him, they aimed high and blew the eye to smithereens.

The shot's projection of Rose-her silhouette during the shot's travel was the indication the cannon was hers-blasted pieces of the eye all over the boardwalk and the beach. Mr. Smiley, Dante, Barb, and Sadie were all setting the cannon down, while Martha, Lars, Greg, and Vidalia were trying to retrieve Greg's van from the shallows.

"Rose..."

"Guess we didn't need these, then," Dante stated.

Martha shrugged, "I feel better with one though."

"So, that thing, the thing that shot _light_ as ammo, and which destroyed an alien eye machine," Lars listed, "was his mom's?! What the heck?!"

"What was that?" Mr. Smiley asked. "It looked like an eye."

"A robot eye," said Dante.

"A DEAD eye!" Barb yelled, "WooHOO!"

"Yeah! She's an alien! You know this!" Sadie berated Lars, "Just like the _other three_ we see a lot of! Gosh, pay _attention_ sometimes!"

"Whoaaaa!" Steven noticed the shock-waves in the water, "Look at all the waves!"

" _Greg_!" admonished Vidalia, "Let go or you'll get swept under!"

"No, no, no! But, Vidalia, THE VAN!"

"I'm NOT saving you from drowning more than once in a lifetime!"

"We should help Greg with his van," Sadie suggested.

"Greg! Barbra's acomin' to help ya!"

"Greg had Rose's Light Cannon?!" Pearl exclaimed.

"And they figured out how to _use_ it?" Amethyst asked.

"Put that baby in neutral, Greg!" Martha directed.

Amethyst looked around, "They also saved _most_ of Beach City!"

"Most?" Pearl said.

"On three: PUSH! One!"

"The boardwalk has a hole in it, Pearl;" Garnet pointed it out, "as well as some buildings."

"Two! THREE!"

"This city's used to that; we'll be fine." Mr. Smiley reassured.

"Thanks, guys." Greg told the group, "I'm grateful you'd help after we wrecked half the Walk."

"Better than all of it, Greg! We're happy there's one less thing to fix!" Barb side-hugged the man. "HaHA!"

"Greg, may we put Rose Quartz's Light Cannon with the rest of our arsenal? And what's the activation code?" Pearl inquired. "I advise you to keep your voice low, we don't want the cannon firing again."

"('If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.')"

"That's the thing Rose would say about pork rinds?"

"Hot dogs," Garnet corrected.

"Good job keeping up with it, Gregory," Amethyst said.

"Uh... Thanks."

"Let's go get a damage survey, everyone!" Mr. Smiley ordered.

"~If every pork chop were perfect,~" Steven sang, "~WE WOULDN'T HAVE HOT DOGS!~"

The cannon began its preparation to shoot.

 **Bonus:**

"Mom, Dad, I know you just got home from work but we need every gun in the house!"

"Why?!"

"We've gotta take down the eyeball!"

"He's fighting a _gang_ , Dante!"

"Now, now. We've prepared for this day."

* * *

"Sadie! Momma's gonna shoot something from the sky today, baby!"

[hey p2 we need guns 2 fight a giant eyeball] [get ur mom out here]

"Mom! I'm going with you and you can put back your clay pigeons!"


	3. Cheeseburger Backpack

**Donut Family**

AU

[Rebecca Sugar, plus Ian Jones-Quartey and herself. The character arcs aren't mine, but I'll be elaborating and/or simplifying others.]

 _I believe this expositions that Gems are a literal whole other race with their own culture and not some sort of civilised or sentient rock found on earth. It's also impossible to really SHOW without those vague murals of dog/lion/tiger things, so this is exposition of 'The Gems underestimate Steven and chaste him because they don't understand/give any serious shits about humans. (Seriously, they had their own reasons. *Looks at extended theme song.*)'_

- _More or less referring to the last chapter: most of my dialogue has no indicators because of speech pattern, speed, and chaoticness of the city and all of it's citizens.-_

 **Tid-Bit Notes:** Steven gets to show off the way he (exaggeratedly) didn't get to with the gems: 'Dang, Steven! That bag is so cooool!'

 **-artisticRadifyer**

 **Ch. 3 Cheeseburger Backpack**

"~Hey! Mr. Postman, bring me a post!~ Bring me the post that I love the most!~" Steven waited on the hood of Greg's van for a package he ordered online. The email he received early in the morning verified it's arrival was today. As Steven had wished in his song, a postman was seen strolling toward the Old Wash, a tad amused and confused from hearing the song from far off: "My song came true!"

"Hold on. Let me see what I've got here..." The young man rummaged and pulled things out to inquire about, "Did you order a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?"

"No."

"Are you R. J. Finkle, receiving jury summons?"

"That's not me. I'm Steven!"

"Oooh! Right, right! _Steven_!" Jamie found a medium sized box, "Here it is! Steven Universe, ordered a package from the Wacky Sacks company."

"Yeah! The gems want to take me on a mission later today, so I ordered this since my powers don't work well yet…"

"That seems reasonable."

"We're probably gonna save some people! Maybe even the world!"

"Well, do you wanna know how you can save _my_ world?"

"Yes!"

"Sign here, please. Barb yells at me if I don't get signatures."

"But, I thought she was really, really nice!"

"I still don't like to make her upset. She's scary..."

"Yeah. I guess I can't argue with that."

Steven noticed Sadie stroll up the same path Jamie took, "Sadie's home! Now, I can show this baby off!"

"What _is_ a Wacky Sack?"

"Stick around for another minute or so, you'll see!" Steven ducked around the back of the van to go in the back of the Wash. He donned his package in an enclosed curtain while notifying his other two caretakers to go help Sadie with the bags of groceries she had. He only followed them after they had fully gone outside.

Strutting out, Steven waited for someone to notice his awesome bookbag.

"Whoa, that's a nice bookbag ya got there, Little Man." Greg complimented.

Lars was unimpressed, "A cheeseburger?"

"Wow, Steven," Jamie said, "it looks really well made."

"Right! And it has so much space! Even the cheese is a pocket!"

"Darn." Sadie muttered, "Well, I know which one to get him now."

"You wanna put it to use?" Greg asked. "We could put some groceries in there."

"I don't want to get it wet, though. So no drinks that sweat wet!"

"Alright, then. I've gotta keep on my route. Bye!"

"Bye, Jamie! Thanks for my sack!"

"Anytime!"

The three adults stuffed Steven's bookbag with dry groceries and wandered inside to put it all up.

* * *

By advice from Sadie, who was home with him today, Steven began to pack things he thought he'd need for the trip the gems were to pick him up for. He had no idea what he was going to be doing, so he packed everything from a raft, to a Mr. Queasy. The latter in case he got bored and the former on Sadie's recommendation.

They were finishing up a leftover lunch when Amethyst waltzed in and ate the disposables the lunch was preserved in, "'m shwapos two piff upp Sheppen."

"Do you want the garbage too?" Steven suggested, not wanting to take it to the dumpster later.

"Eh, we can bring the bag to the temple. It's not always the best idea for me to eat before a mission."

Steven shrugged at Sadie's silent incredulous-ness, and pulled the garbage-can out of it's spot under a side-table, "You're carryin' it. I'm not gettin' garbage on my bookbag."

"Rad burger, dude."

"Yeah. I really like it already."

"When did ya get it?"

"This morning." Both of the mission members made their way out, and Steven called over his shoulder to the woman following them, "Bye, Sadie!"

"You got your phone?" Sadie scanned him over from the kitchen doorway, "I see your bag; but you need your phone directly on hand."

"It's in my _pocket_ , Sadie."

"Alright, alright... Just...be careful, please."

"I will," the boy came back the few steps and hugged Sadie before catching up with Amethyst.

* * *

"Do you remember how to do this?" Pearl questioned loudly.

Steven was distracted from answering as his body tipped back and his head grazing the edge of the stream, "Whoa-ho-hooo!"

"Ah!" Pearl grabbed onto Steven to right him, "Keep your head _in_!"

The warp ends and Steven, still floating higher than the others in the stream, falls a short distance. The new place is surrounded in water falls, and is very corroded.

"The Sea Spire..." Steven connected the place to the name the gems threw at him earlier.

A piece of the Spire broke away as they took their first few steps closer. Each gem let a small noise of negativity at the sight.

"...It wasn't like this a hundred years ago..." Pearl referred to the piece.

Garnet was at the front of the group and gave her own assessment: "I'm sensing structural instability."

"That's never good," Steven says, as the ground he stands on cracks.

Pearl launched into the boy, saving and startling him in one instant, "Alright, hold on! We're taking Steven back!"

Steven's doll, Mr. Queasy, sounds a recorded message about the person disturbing him as Steven is being let down from Pearl's arms. Steven took the doll out on the look he gets from the white gem, "Sorry. He's in there in case I got bored."

"Steven!" Pearl admonished, "This is your heritage, I thought you wanted to help, but you've got to pay attention! Can you do that, Steven!?"

Steven felt chastened even though he'd thought he'd been acting rather good so far and so stuttered out his compliance, "Y-yeah!" He put away Mr. Queasy.

"Enough. We have to move," Garnet ordered and then stopped them from continuing, explaining that there was a magic vortex at play which would pull them under water.

"Contradiction!" Steven coughed.

"What?" Pearl asked.

"I coughed. Sorry."

"You are excused." The bright gem dismissed him and got back to the problem, "...We can't jump across, then?"

"No."

After a pause, Steven kneeled and pulled out a few sweaters from his cheeseburger backpack.

Amethyst turned away from the problem to find out what he was doing, "What are those?"

"These 'sweaters' _were_ for keeping warm, but, look:" Steven swings one end of the tied together sweaters into a hole, where it continues the swing back to Steven to grab. There was a chance this wouldn't work, because even the rock couldn't go through, but maybe the vortex didn't detect human things. He jumped as the gems shouted worry and negative orders, and rope climbed his sweaters onto the ledge they were attempting to reach. "Here," he threw the new device to the gems.

"Way to go! Come on, guys!" Amethyst used the sweaters to climb up as well, while holding the other two gems. "~Steven style!~"

"Never do that again!" Pearl ordered.

"...Sorry?" Steven apologized. Amethyst and Garnet gave him positive touches for the great idea: a ruffle of his hair and shoulder nudge, respectively.

Pearl relented as she followed her companions, "...But, it _was_ pretty great."

The gems and Steven traverse the first half of the journey to the top of the spire while Pearl half-voices all of her observations, "Oh, no, no, no! This is even worse than the outside! Ugh. That's- Ooh... Oh! This didn't used to be so- Uhh! And the water damage! ...This pillar... Oh, and this had a head! Oh, Steven, once the statue is in place, it'll restore all of this to it's former gloryyYYII! AH! AH! AHHHHH!" The white gem sliced the headless statue and its companions into the vortex surrounding the place.

"What were those goobers?" Steven asked as Pearl pushed him back from the statue.

"Crystal Shrimp!"

"You guys!" Amethyst called from ahead, "We gotta problem!"

Pearl gasped as she arrived, "It's an infestation! And we have to pass through there to get to the top."

"Can't you just squish 'em?" Steven asked.

"Don't touch one; their shards are deadly!" Pearl checked to make sure he was doing as she asked and then began planning out their next move, "We need to clear a path. Amethyst, if you go around to the side and disturb them with a spin attack- And Garnet, if you move to the ceiling and strike this exact spot- Then I can advance with my-"

"Bagel sandwich!" Steven overrides Pearl's holographic instructions by throwing two of his sandwiches at opposite ends of the open room to draw the shrimp away from their path.

"Brilliant." Garnet praised Steven's newest idea.

"Oh, hey." Amethyst shrugged appreciatively, "Whattaya know?"

"Uh. I-I-" Pearl stammered. "How...did you know...that would work?"

"Well," Steven answered, "if I were a shrimp, I'd want real food."

Amethyst snorted as she followed Garnet onward, "You _are_ a shrimp."

"I just want everyone to know: My plan also would have worked." Pearl reminded as she followed the group up the next set of steps.

Garnet threw her hand out to stop everyone, "Watch out!"

A wall of cracked stone burst water out and over the edge into the vortex.

"What're we gonna do?" Amethyst looked to Steven, and everyone followed suit.

"... What? ...Me?"

"What have you got." Garnet stated.

"Cheese-burger back-pack! Cheese-burger back-pack!" Amethyst goaded the gem next to her, "Come on, Pearl!"

"Oh, alright... 'Cheese-burger back-pack! Cheese-burger back-pack! Cheese-burger back-pack!'"

"I've...got a raft!?"

"Oh!" Pearl exclaimed, surprised at the maturity of the item. "Steven, that's so sensible!"

Steven threw the raft onto the racing water, and it shoots down the current and over the edge.

Garnet knocks out the bottom of a pillar and then elbows it across the new rapids, "Good idea anyway, Steven."

"Yeah." Amethyst comforts, "They can't all be winners."

The top is above the surrounding sea level and just as deteriorated as the rest of the structure.

"This is it:" Pearl announced, "the Moon Goddess Pedestal! And the moon is almost overhead! It's not too late to save this piece of history!"

"Steven," Garnet put out a hand, "the statue."

"What?"

Pearl came to stand in front of Steven, "The Moon Goddess Statue, I gave it to you at the temple?"

"...I was supposed to _bring_ that?"

"Yes!"

"I just thought you were showing it to me since I was showing y'all my bookbag!"

"I gave it to you to put inside your bag!"

"How was I supposed to know that?!"

"There's no time!" Garnet shouted at them.

"What? Garnet?" Amethyst had been watching the exchange.

"Everyone, keep steady!"

The Spire fell, water flooded in, and the four beings fell into the sea.

Resurfacing, Steven apologized, "This is all my fault: I broke It!"

"No, Steven." Pearl admitted, "The Spire was falling apart when we got here. You handled everything well under pressure. You did great!"

Amethyst joined in, "Yeah, you got some _great_ ideas in your head."

"I guess you're right," Steven agreed slowly.

The lost raft popped to the surface in front of them.

The gems congratulated Steven upon his thinking as they got in the raft.

"It's a three hour paddle to Beach City." Garnet informed everyone.

"...Uh. Wet bagel, anybody?"

 **Bonus:**

"Steven! You stopped giving update texts and I waited a whole two hours, but your phone went straight to voicemail! ...Why are you wet?"

"Oh, um. My phone is waterlogged and has been for most of the trip back. We had to ride that blow up raft home."

"...We'll put it on rice and call the phone company tomorrow if we need to. We're buying more emergency supplies next shopping trip. And a book for how to use all of it."


	4. Together Breakfast

**Donut Family**

AU

[Rebecca Sugar, Ian Jones-Quartey, herself, Paul Villeco. Or Together Breakfast!©]

 _This episode was an...interesting way to show off the temple, but we never really had much relevance to it yet, so I'm basically ignoring that part of exposition. Steven can be awed later. Or maybe even has been awed. Who knows. Instead I'll be giving you guys an inside look of the Old Wash! Links for (crappy)visuals will eventually be in my profile!_

- _Steven has random 'm's and 'a's in his texts because he utilises the feature to hold down the button for punctuation, and doesn't have patience half of the time. Greg uses no spell check or punctuation, but spells out most things, Lars is 'txtn lngo 2 max', and Sadie had auto-first letter caps and spell-check but doesn't punctuate bottom marks-periods & commas-while spell-check usually does top-apostrophes-for you.-_

 **Tid-Bit Notes:** Hooray for decent humans and their easy going natures. **-artisticRadifyer**

 **Ch. 4 Together Breakfast**

Steven woke up to a note on the kitchen's microwave that he was on his 'own' for at least the some of the morning. "Everyone's out? Guess I'm makin' us all breakfast."

He got out heat-up waffles, popcorn, whip cream, a tub with only a few strawberries left, syrup, and, just for Lars, one of those mint, leaf things people put on dishes to make them fancy. As he checked everything over, he found there wasn't nearly enough food for everyone. He shot a text into the group chat his Dad, Lars, and Sadie decided to name SDSL, to gain info on their whereabouts.

[Lars and I are at the store]

[str]

[What I said]

[wat she said]

[Good!a! You can get food!]

[im out by the temple actuly]

[y]

[Why]

[WHHatm?]

[Why?]

[i took a picture of something and garnet says she has to burn my phone now]

[But you havve the best picturse?m!]

[n a lot of wrk stuff 2]

[It'd suck to lose those planograms]

[how r u txtn? if shes tryna burn ur fon]

[im trying to upload everything to yall for work]

[The PIICTURES?!a]

[i dont think i have that much time steven]

[she warned me not to look at what i took a pic of anyway]

[says it has one of those spells on it]

[The ones that compel you to touch them help them possess you right]

[Gollum's ring spell]

[pls dont kill us w/ ur fon]

[yeah]

[planogrm003292-png]

[planogrm003293-png]

[planogrm003294-png]

[planogrm003295-png]

[done]

[say bye to my phone]

[WAIIITIT!]

{*Audio Daddio* has left the conversation}

[NOOoooo!a!aa!]

[?]

[What Steven]

[He needs to knoww where to go for breeakfastt!m]

[He'll probably just go home thought]

[Though*]

[tho*]

[But?m?]

[Well be there too Steven it's not like we can stay here people gotta eat]

[We will*]

[I'll start somea!a!]

[sys]

[Ditto stewing]

[Steven*]

Steven had done this in the past. He'd pull together at least all three of his caretakers for breakfast and no matter how many random things were thrown into a stack of waffles or pancakes, they'd end up cleaning the plates-whether is was by washing them or eating them, together.

He heard someone knock on the kitchen door a bit later, and let Sadie followed by Lars walk in laden with groceries. The two placed them on the window counter and began loading up the pantry, fridge, and freezer that sat next to each other on the opposite side of the kitchen. Steven checked outside to spot his dad in the distance on the path for the Wash.

"We've got more food!" Sadie called to Greg.

" _I'VE_ GOT THE _BREAKFAST_ PLAN!"

"We're not that far away, Steven."

"But Dad is!" Steven pointed, "And you just _took_ his line?"

"...Do you yell just to hear him say that every now-and-then?" Lars asked.

"Uh, that's part of the reason? He doesn't yell at me like I've seen other people do at their kids—"

"Hypocrites," Lars mutters.

"You're one to talk, Lars."

"—and I try to see if it will ever change!"

"He should get a Dad of the Year award for handling kids the way he does." Sadie said.

"He... _does_ handle the Wash nicely." Lars admitted.

"Is anyone coming over soon?"

Steven pointed at the calendar on the fridge, "PeeDee!"

"Oh, so now I've magically got two rapscallions tomorrow?" Lars said, "Perfect."

"He's not a bad kid." Sadie defended.

"He's _trying_ to be an adult too quickly."

Steven put in his opinion, "Adults are cool!"

"Whoa, Stew-Ball!" Greg ruffled Steven's hair, "There's no rush. You'll get there eventually, but do NOT rush it."

"What," Lars snarked at him, "You wanna be a kid again?"

"Not necessarily. I wouldn't have you three to keep me company, and I was always in place. I didn't get to 'be a kid' until I was Lars' age, travelling and singing and basically being a toddler with not much supervision."

"Really."

"That's how Mr. Universe, the rock-star, was _born_!"

"...Why aren't you a rockstar any _more_?" Steven asked.

"Because—"

Jenny appeared in the curtained doorway to the rest of the wash, "Morning, Mr. Universe, Sadie, Lars, Steven. Does one of you know when breakfast starts?"

"We just came in with groceries," Sadie answered, "so it'll prolly be about an hour."

"Oh! I've gotta show you the plan, Jenny!"

"I'm gonna go..." the girl yawned and turned to leave, "—get ready for the day, Steven... I'll see it when it's all ready."

"Ohkay..."

"Well, I'm gonna go call the phone company while I wait." Greg went out to his van.

Lars questioned the morning, "...Why did Greg start these things?"

"Because Steven can work a microwave and has imagination?" Sadie handed the taller companion a box, "Lars, here."

"How do you get extra stuff when I'm not looking?!"

"Also, they _are_ usually pretty good." Sadie continued her explanation.

"Fine, _don't_ answer me."

"I can do _more_ than only use the microwave!" Steven retorted.

"Not unless we're helping, remember? Last time you tried to do it by yourself, the entire kitchen was a mess and—"

"The outcome of that was good, though!" Sadie tries to imitate Greg, "'It's just more fun if the mess is made by more people; then no one can really complain during clean-up because they had a hand in it,' Greg Universe, Holder of the Dad of the Year Award."

Steven was hopeful though, "When I'm good enough can I try to surprise you guys?"

"Lars could be the one to help you surprise us." Sadie suggested.

"Uh...sure. Whatever."

"Kool! Ohkay, so, look at the plan!"

"That doesn't look _too_ bad. Sweet and salty— Why do you keep putting these on here, Steven."

"They make food in movies fancy!"

"I _told_ you—"

"They still _do it_ though!"

"Ugh..."

"Then what do I do instead?! Next time!"

"A Garnish is like, like, the strawberries are already one. It's not a type of food, like the leaf. It's a small compliment to the rest of the dish; you wouldn't leave cherries off of a sunday right?"

"Who would do that?!"

"I don't like cherries..."

"You would draw them if you were told to draw a banana-split-sundae! Right, Sadie?!"

"Yes! Calm dow—"

Greg cut in as he entered the kitchen again, "Stew-Ball, standing in your chair will only get your pants dirty when you sit again."

"Sorry."

"What are you guys getting Steven worked up over?" the father asked as he put the notes from the phone company on the fridge.

"Garnish can be cherries! And strawber—"

Lars overran Steven, "They can even be that little umbrella you put in lemonade, croutons on a salad, there's a lot of different stuff."

"An accessory to food?" Greg clarified.

"Yeah."

"Hm. Sprinkles on donuts?"

"Sure."

"Creamer in coffee."

Lars was getting annoyed, "We're getting into debatable territory."

"Ohkay, ohkay. Lets start Steven's—"

"Together BREAKFAST!"

"We're right in front of ya, Buddie."

"I know! That's what's so awesome I have to yell it!"

Sadie giggled at Steven's reference, "Pffhaha!"

"Wait, I'm gonna go wash my hands!"

"Why don't you do it in here?" Greg asked.

"I'm NOT using dish soap!" Steven left the kitchen and went left in the hallway outside it. He rounded the immediate corner and passed by a multitude of different colored curtains which helped differentiate each room. Coming to the last one of white cotton, he popped the curtain twice while asking loudly if anyone was in there. No reply came forth so he flipped the curtain to beeline to the sink. The only bathroom to the Old Wash was a three-fourths one shared by a minimum of four people at a time; but this morning there was seven.

Someone popped the curtain, "Clear?"

"I'll be out in a sec, Sour Cream!"

"Mmk."

Steven finished and exited to see the white-haired teen leaning against the wall next to the kitchen window that used to be a viewport for washing cars. It extended down almost the entire wall before the hall turned to the right. That turn is where the doorway to the kitchen lay, and passed it are a few more rooms assigned to the permanent residents. Steven's curtains were a bright pink at the end of the hall, as he requested during the remodeling.

Next was a wider room that used to be Greg's for a small time before he opted to stay in the van; declaring it unfamiliar enough he couldn't sleep. Through much deliberation, Lars and Sadie settled on a split of the room: all of Lars' things were placed higher on shelves, and Sadie's things lower in dressers. A curtain hung in the middle for privacy, and most of the time it stayed shut.

Laundry was not enough to fill a whole room for a compact 'community' home, so the next is a jack-of-all-trades. It does have the original purpose for washing and drying clothes, but it also has a desk—a file drawer keeps anyone who uses it regularly, separate—for a study area, a shelf the router for the wifi sits on, and even a storage cabinet of blankets, bean-bags, towels, pillows, two blow-up mattress, and five tents.

The guest rooms can either be three or two, depending if they want the separating curtain in the middle of the bigger one as Lars and Sadie do. The bigger of the 'two' rooms had a bunk-bed-couch; and the bottom couch would have a pull-out-bed as the top was a simple bed. The other had only a pull-out-bed couch. There was a mirrored, low-and-wide, blank dresser in the bigger, and a tall, skinny, blank dresser in the smaller. The bigger which could split had the addition of a hammock which could be hung diagonally across its empty side of the room.

All beds for every room were aligned or flushed to the wall, any other furniture could be situated on the curtain walls as long as the curtain could be freely moved. The curtains themselves held to the ceiling by T tracks rather than rods. Though, because of this method, doors could literally be almost any side of the room and everyone seemed to silently decide by example to only use one or two ways to enter a room; normally a corner.

Steven, not knowing why his mind decided to contemplate the layout of his home, re-entered the kitchen to begin helping make breakfast. By the time it was done, the other residents which stayed in the Wash the night before had trickled in the kitchen to help make and then eat breakfast.

"Hey, Buck, Sour Cream, Jenny! Tell me this: What in this Together Breakfast was a garnish?" Steven quizzed.

"Uh..."

 **Bonus:**

"Greg."

[texting noises]

"Greg."

[texting noises]

"Greg."

[texting noises]

"Greg, if-"

"Aaaaand, DONE! Everything is on the cloud and I sent the others hard copies of the important stuff, so don't worry about it Garnet."

"I wasn't going to."


	5. Frybo

**Donut Family**

AU

[Rebecca Sugar, Raven Molisee, Paul Villeco. Or any of the monsters that trapeze through Beach City.]

 _Exposition that shards have their own consciousness when Gems are broken. If you recall, I mentioned PeeDee coming over the evening of last chapter. Results are the beginning of this episode outside Gem influence. And it was never explained how Pearl lost a shard that was in a bubble, so why explain how it got into Frybo this time as well?_

- _Onomatopoeias are in **bold**. (Parenthesis) mean whisper.-_

 **Tid-Bit Notes:** I had not a clue what to do with this one for a while. I'm expecting this'll only get harder.

 **-artisticRadifyer**

 **Ch. 5 Frybo**

"PeeeeeeeDeeeeee!"

"Steven."

"Ready?"

"Just like every other time."

"Whoo!"

"Is my room taken?"

"Nah, the only people are Buck and Sour Cream sharing the Trio room to get away from girls for the evening, but they aren't staying all night anyway."

"So they're doing a ten-dollar evening?"

"Yep. After the twenty-dollar night Jenny and Buck paid for, Sour Cream would have this one and I don't think he has enough for overnight."

"Maybe we can get in some beats before they decide to leave."

* * *

"So, we're going to your dad's work today?" Steven asked.

"Eh, I'm going by to drop my stuff off so I don't have to make another trip later. He..." PeeDee hefted his things, "said we can go play today, though."

"Cool!"

"I'm just glad I'm not going to get attacked by gulls."

"Seagulls can't be _that_ mean!"

The two boys made their way by Beach Citywalk Fries with Lars in tow, who ended up lagging way behind. They got onto the rides at the front of Funland Arcade next; Steven on the jellyfish and PeeDee on the seahorse, which vibrate and rock respectively.

"This seahorse used to make me so happy. Now it's just giving me whiplash." PeeDee's ride stops. "...I feel like there' just no point to it. Y-you know what I mean?"

"I-I j-juu-st fe-eel ti-i-ing-l-ly-y-yy!"

PeeDee sighs, "You'll understand when you have a job."

Steven's ride stops as well, "I do have a job! I help at the Old Wash, and the Big Donut, _and_ I'm going to be protecting humanity from magic and monsters and stuff!"

"I mean a _real_ job. That you get _paid_ for."

"I'm paid in the smiles across the town's faces'."

"I don't see anyone smiling. You pick up a job to buy a house, or raise kids, or to...impress your dad. You work away your life and what does it get you?"

"...Smiles and faces?"

" _No_. You get cash. Cash that _can't_ buy back what the job takes. Not if you rode every seahorse in the world." The skinny boy heaved another sigh.

"Whoa..." Steven wanted PeeDee to be happier, "Wanna try the jellyfish?"

Before PeeDee could begin to reply, a shout was heard from a distance, "Gahhhg!"

"That came from the Fry Shop!" Peedee said.

The boys rushed over to the shop, and found people from all over the boardwalk running away from it. Some are snagged by long, yellow coils that shot out the door of the shop like a frog's tongue.

"What was in the world was that?! Is there an animal that does that?!" PeeDee rushed.

A table flew through the shop's front window, and allowed both boys to take in Beach City's newest, gem affected monster.

"(Frybo?)" Steven whispered.

Mr. Smiley was just in front of it, "PLE-HE-HEASE! NO MORE FRIES!"

"FRYBO!" Steven ordered, "STOP!"

The possessed costume turned its attention to the new prey. Both the kids and the monster got a nice assessment of the other party before it tossed a person at them through the shattered window.

"Lars!" Steven called.

He spit out some fries, "I don't even _like_ fries!" and took off away from the shop.

"GET _HELP_!" Steven yelled after him.

Peedee was gripping his tank-top, "Why is my dad's costume alive?!"

"I don't know!"

"Frybo?" Fryman opened a door from the back of the shop.

"Oh, no! Dad!"

"Fryman, run!"

"PeeDee!" Fryman saw Peedee outside the shop before he was grabbed by the vine-like fries which sprouted from the top of the costume, "Run, kids! I need someone to run this place, and I know your brother won't be able to handle it!" He was trying to escape, but wasn't quite able to, "You're a valued member of Fryman Brothers Incorporated and all its affiliates!"

"Da-ha-haaad!" PeeDee began a leap, but Steven tugged the smaller boy back down by his leg,

"No! He'll mash your potatoes!" Steven turned to take the path he just denied his friend from taking.

"What are _you_ gonna do?"

"Training on the job!"

The costume tossed Fryman this time, whom landed on both boys. They struggled to get up, and Steven is distracted from helping much by the arrival of Pearl,

"Pearl!"

"Steven?" She identified him but not the costume, "Who is attacking everyone?"

"Nobody is supposed to be in the costume!"

"So it's moving on it's own?"

"YES!"

"Do you know how it happened?"

"NO!"

"THAT must be where my missing shard went. So much for controlling the garments they were in earlier today," she summons her spear and bulls-eye'd Frybo's eye, which sent ketchup all over her.

"Uhhuhh…" Pearl dropped a bubble that popped and the shards that were inside were freed.

Steven was finally out from under Fryman, "Pearl!"

"Ah! The ketchup!" When she wiped her eyes, the ketchup on her hands replaced what was in her eyes, "It's everywhere! I can't see!"

Steven figured he would try to stop Frybo before helping Pearl, "You said there's a shard like these in the costume?"

"Yes! We need extract the shard before it grows too powerful!"

"I'm using these!"

"Wha? Steven?"

Peedee tried to wake his father, "Daa-Haad!"

The costume finally recovered from Pearl's strike, and began to advance toward where the overturned Fryman lay as PeeDee stood over him.

The boy tried to hit the costume with a broken plank of wood, "Go AWAY!"

"(PeeDee…)" Fryman was woken up.

"You are AWFUL! I _hate_ you! I've _ALWAYS_ HATED YOU!"

"Wait… You've _always_ hated Frybo?"

Frybo snatches the plank and the man and son cower before the possessed possession.

A pair of pants socked the monster in the face, **GK** **—**

Peedee saw Steven off to the side, "Steven!"

"Where?!" Pearl asked.

"Your move, Frybo."

Frybo launched itself forward with a **SKRREEKT** , into Steven's posted clothes guardians; which were now possessed by shards of the same origin the rogue's had.

Steven had caught a bit Pearl muttered about controlling garments—he hoped she meant clothes—with the shards and willed these to not rebel quite as quickly, "ATTACK!"

The clothes walloped the rogue brother, but began losing the upper hand.

"Fryman, let me use your apron!"

"What?"

 **KREEAGGT**

"I only have underwear left! Now!"

"Here!"

 **GRRREEAC**

Steven dropped his final shard into one of the apron's many front pockets, "Go!"

The controlled garments felled Frybo and Steven reached in the middle opening to grope for the final shard. The boy wrenched out the piece, **KCCISSTT** , and dropped it onto the boardwalk, guarding it from clothes as he rounded up the other shards.

"Steven?! Are you alright?" Pearl groped and found Fryman's face.

"Ffinndd."

"I'm ohkay." Steven addressed her concern, and then did a dramatic monologue, "As soon as I bared my chest, I knew he'd fall to my behest. ...Sadie's gonna be so proud of that one."

"You bet! That was a...nice one." The mentioned girl complemented, but trailed off at the mess on the boardwalk. "Why are your clothes all over the Boardwalk?"

"Oh! Ah... I haven't picked them up yet."

Lars had returned with Sadie, as the form of help closest, and didn't know how to take in the scene, "How did you defeat that thing?!"

"By using my clothes, turning its own power against it! Just like a movie!"

"Here are some napkins." Fryman was helping Pearl out behind Steven.

"Thank you." Pearl cleaned herself up, "Ketchup is disgusting."

Sadie gently reminded Steven, "Well, a hero doesn't go around in his underwear, now does he?"

"Right."

"I can see now." Pearl handed the napkins back.

Steven came to Fryman just after Pearl, "Here's your apron back."

"Thank you, Steven."

"How did you get your clothes to do that?" Peedee asked.

"Pearl had more of the things that made Frybo go crazy. She said one escaped, I saw the rest she dropped when she got blinded by ketchup, and I got the idea to use them."

"Which, I need back." Pearl took the shards Steven presented, "To stow away into the unpredictable pile."

"What are you sorting?" Steven asked.

Pearl leapt away, "Goodbye, Steven!"

"She just, left without answering him." Lars defended himself before Sadie could berate him, "At least I have the decency to do that much."

"Maybe she just didn't hear him." Sadie tried to justify.

"No; those ladies have super hearing."

Steven had all of his clothes back on, "I think they do too."

Sadie was the one to close the case, "...Well, it's over and unimportant."

"Steven, we're apparently holding a little funeral for Frybo." Peedee invited him, "Are you coming?"

"I'm not!" Lars stated. "That thing will be giving me nightmares! I'm sure of it! I'll see you guys at the Wash..."

"Sure." Steven accepted. "If it's ohkay with the new Steven Watch."

"Why not. When and where are we going?" Sadie also accepted.

Peedee shrugged, "I think it'll be a pryr on the ocean."

"Oh, cool. I've always wanted to see one... Well, not with the circumstances that come with that, but, just- Ahg, you know what I mean."

 **Bonus:**

"Sour Cream, Buck, and the boys if either or both are in there! If you get the _police_ called on us for disturbing _sleep_ like in the movies, you'll be _banned_ from playing music for _three months_! _Any_ where! The _whole town_ will know you're grounded!"

 ***cricket noises* *really low-volume music begins***

"I was close to saying something too! Thanks Greg!"

"I just wanna sleep..."

"Night, Dad!"


	6. Cat Fingers

**Donut Family**

AU

[Rebecca Sugar, Kat Morris, Hilary Florido, Ian Jones-Quartey, and herself.]

 _Exposition: Shapeshifting, obviously. And I've worked around the Power Wash! A much more dramatic and probably dangerous way! Yay me. But, seriously, it's probably the only other thing they could've done and the more I visualise it, the more I realise it would probably be too long for the show._

- _My onomatopoeias this chapter have 'layers' where the noises are slightly out of sync by use of capital letters.-_

 **Tid-Bit Notes:** The Bonus on this one is really stupid, trust me, and derives from "The Room Where It Happened". Which means: [I don't own Hamilton.]

 **-artisticRadifyer**

 **Ch. 6 Cat Fingers**

"Almost done!" Greg declared. "Steven, grab a buncha napkins!"

"I'm nappin' the napkins!"

"Fold 'em neat; this is a high profile job."

"You mean, cause this is the mayor's order?"

"If we do this right, we might get political favors."

"I'm not sure what that is, but I like it."

Steven grabs a pinch of multi-colored, pill sprinkles and threw them at his dad. Greg took a pinch of white, star-shaped sprinkles and managed to get some in the boy's curly hair.

"Hey, hey, hey!" the Mayor interrupted. "I'm _not_ paying for father-son bonding here!"

Steven threw a pinch of the Captain America themed sprinkles at Mayor Dewey.

"Universe! Control that kid!"

" _Steven_! Uh, I'm sorry, Mayor Dewey. Heheh. T-this one's on the house." Greg tried to redeem.

"'On the house,' eh? I like the way you do business, Universe," Mayor Dewey took his variety dozen and left.

"Hoooo..."

Steven twiddled his fingers now that the man was gone, "~Political favors!~"

"Ah! You rascal!" Greg tousled the boy's hair, "Enough with the sprinkle fights!"

"O-o-ohkay..."

The two are sprayed with a rain of sprinkles.

"What the..." Greg stopped himself.

A purple-toned raccoon sits behind the counter near them, going for more sprinkles.

"Hey, no!" Steven berates the animal, "It's only ohkay for _pinches_ , not _handfuls_!"

"What is with this raccoon?" Greg wonders as the mammal obeys and grabs a pinch to throw.

The raccoon turned into Amethyst, "Haha! Got you guys~!"

"Amethyst?" Steven asked.

"Uh," Greg stuttered, "pretty cool, Amethyst."

" _Really_ cool! I wonder if I can shapeshift like you?"

Amethyst nodded along with his question, "You could probably learn."

"Really?"

"Sure." The gem hopped off the counter to raise the boy's shirt and show off his gem, "You gotta Gem."

"Whup! If you need to _go_ somewhere, tell me before you leave." Greg ordered. "The other two aren't here to go with Steven, and after that last mission you took him on, he doesn't have a new phone yet."

"Aw, it's no big deal, Dad."

"Yeah," Amethyst said as she shapeshifted into Steven, "it's fiiiine.~"

"Gahh!"

The two with powers only went right outside the Big Donut for the impromptu lesson.

"OH! Show me how to turn into a-a HUGE LION!" Steven requested.

"Actually, Pearl's drilled it into me to be careful with you, and if you're gonna do this: You gotta start with somethin' easy."

"...Like that raccoon you turned into?"

"The patterns are usually a more experienced shapeshifters game... How about a cat?"

"Ohkay!"

"Good. Ohkay, now follow my lead... First, think of what you wanna be. Then, just, shake it out!" She turned into a purple-monotoned cat. "See? Uhah!" the Amethyst-cat laughed. "Now your turn!"

"Ohkay..." Steven tried to focus, "Caaaaaaaaat!"

"Nah, you're too tense. Just relax and _feel_ it." She began munching on some of the garbage that didn't make it into the dumpster, "Biorhythms, yo."

"Feeeeeeel iiiiiiitt!"

"Uh, if you're not ready, we can try later."

"No way! I can do it!"

Amethyst turned back to her normal, stout self to monitor Steven's attempt more efficiently.

"Ooh...yeah. Yeah! Ooph!" Steven stood still in a peaceful state of mind.

"Well, it was a good try."

( **meow** )

Steven and Amethyst both looked at each other in surprise and the boy presented his finger.

 **Mreeow Rreeeeoooooow**

"Uhhhaha!"

"This is SO COOL!"

"You should go show your dad. He's gonna FREAK OUT!"

 **Reeoow**

"Dad, we're already done!"

"Oh, yeah, Stew-Ball?"

"Check it out!" Steven thrusted his finger into his dad's face.

 **ROOW**

"W—"

The cup of water from the workplace's water cooler flew in the air with Greg's surprise, and splashed the little cat finger made from Steven's right pointer. The finger mewled in distress and discomfort.

Steven shielded it for a moment before he realized his father didn't have another cup, "I shapeshifted my finger into a cat!"

"Whoa! Huh huuuu..." Greg attempted to turn his alarmed, surprised tone into something more supportive, "Is—Is that a thing you can do now? That's...pretty cool..."

"I know, right? I'm gonna take this show on the road!"

"I'll let you go for lunch, then." Greg started to clan up the little bit of spilled water. " _Please_ be back before the hour is up."

"Ohkay!" Steven and the finger laughed and meowed merrily as they left.

Steven made his way to Fish Stew Pizza to show off his new cat. He told his order to one of the Pizza Twins behind the counter, Kiki,

"That'll be one, oh-five, Steven."

"Mohkay. Here's a nickel! And a buck~!" Steven held up the finger with a dollar bill in it's mouth.

"Oh, man, Steven. It. Is _so cute_!"

"Oh, Steven! That's adorable!"

"Sadie? And Lars? What are yall doin' here?"

"We're taking a break." The girl explained, "Especially after Mr. Lazy wouldn't stop complaining for a little more than half an hour."

"We have been _deep cleaning_ ALL DAY." 'Mr. Lazy' defended himself.

 **Purrr**

Sadie examined the cat her finger was petting with a suspicious look, "Are...youuu making it purr?"

"It kinda does what it wants." Steven denied any controlling force over the cat.

"Really." Lars decided to touch it as well and the cat bit his finger, "Yeow!"

"See what I mean? Bad Cat Finger!"

Sadie figured this was another Gem thing and didn't want to hinder Steven's progress, "Aw! I'm sure it just wants to play."

"What woulda...cat that can't go anywhere play with, though?" Kiki pointed out.

"You're right, Kiki!" Steven recognised. "He doesn't have any friends!"

Lars was mad the cat had bit him, "Ohmygosh! *It's just like you, Steven!*"

"Steven has plenty of friends, Lars." Kiki corrected.

Steven concentrated on relaxing and the rest of his fingers on his right turned into cats, "HaHA!"

 **ReReReowowow**

Steven took his one slice of pizza and ate it with his normal left hand. He noticed the cats wanting his food, "Oh. I guess you guys need to eat too, huh? Bye, guys!"

The boy and his attached companions made their way to Beach Citywalk Fries, "Hey, PeeDee! ...Whoa. You work the deep fryer now? Make me some fry Bits!"

"Steven, I take my job seriously. _Please_ , use the _actual menu_."

"Gimme the Bits! Thaaa Bits!"

"PeeDee, look:" the boy's father cut in, "It'll be over sooner if you just give him what he wants."

"Woah! Hey, hey! It's not for me. It's fooooo' 'dese guyyyyys!"

 **MrMrMrMreowowow OwOwrowow**

"What the—!" Mr. Fryman stopped.

PeeDee returned, "Uh, here's your...fry...bits."

Steven lets the cats work on devouring the order.

"I can't. Look. Away." The adult stated slowly.

"Steven," PeeDee half-whispered, "that is _freakish_!"

"No, it's not. It's natural. Sha-ake, it, out!" Steven makes his left set of fingers into cats. "See?"

"Whoa! You know who would love this?" Fryman asked the boys. "Your older brother. Yo, Ronaldo!"

The teenager moving boxes answered, "What's up, Da— Gasp! Ah! AAHH! I gotta get a pic for Keep Beach City Weird!"

"What's that?" Steven asked.

"It's my blog! KEEP! BEACH! CITY! WEIRD!"

PeeDee made a soft noise of annoyance.

"Can I see the picture?" Steven took the offered phone.

 **ReEeEeeww**

"Yikes!" he dropped the phone. "O-o-oh, sorry, guys. I guess Cat Fingers don't function well as...fingers."

* * *

"Steven?" Sadie got the boy's attention. "What are you doing home?"

"Dad said if I was gonna keep the cats around, that I could go home. He also said he'll be fine the rest of the day."

"Ah. Alright. Make sure you stay out of our curtains section alright? And don't make too big a mess anywhere else; we're almost done."

"Can I get a sandwich?"

"When and what did you last eat?"

"Not too long ago, but it was only one slice of pizza. I didn't have enough money for anything else. You were there, remember?"

"Oh. ...Well, sure. Don't go overboard so you can eat dinner, though."

"Yep!"

"C'mon, guys." Steven went straight to the fridge to see if there were any already made; as it was common. He struggled to open the fridge and to grab the only one there as his fingers wailed. "Sh! Guys, I'm just tryin'a finish lunch!" He finally has the sandwich, which was wrapped in a plastic bag, cradled in between his elbows.

Lars found Steven in front of an open refrigerator, "Steven. What are you doing."

"Uh... E-e-eating?" was Steven's embarrassed answer.

"...Those fingers aren't very useful, are they?"

"I...I-I uh—"

"Can you even make them go away? Did you think about that?"

"Um..."

"We're almost done in here. If you wanna help make—or even eat with us—you need your fingers. Go see if those _ladies_ can help you."

"Wah!" the sandwich slipped from between Steven's elbows.

"Yeah, you need your fingers. Go on. You can have the sandwich when you have fingers. I'm _not_ feeding you or something," Lars picked up the bagged sandwich and returned it to the fridge before he returned to his drink.

Steven made his way to the temple just in time to see the three he was looking for leaving on a very small boat,

"Amethyst! Wait!"

"Steven?" Pearl turned around.

"C'mon!" Amethyst beckoned the boy, "You can make it!"

Steven was going to swim, but was concerned about what would happen to his cat fingers if they couldn't breathe.

"Steven, what's going on?" Pearl asked loudly.

"U-u-uh, not much! I-I just turned all my fingers into cats!"

Amethyst laughed.

Pearl was concerned and told Garnet, "We have to stay and help Steven!"

"We can't." The tallest Gem replied. "This is a tectonic emergency. We'll deal with Steven when we get back."

"Amethyst, I blame _you_ for this!"

Amethyst shrugged, "Eh. That's fair."

"GrraaaHHH! STEVEN, _JUST_ TRY TO STAY _CALM_!"

Steven, with his help drifting off to distant waters, talked to his cat fingers on his way home, "Enough! No more Cat Fingers! I want _Steven_ fingers! A-and I don't mean little _me_ heads on fingers, I mean my _regular fingers_!" Steven huffed in frustration and puts his head into one palm of his hands.

 **Mrrw**

Under Steven's hand, a new cat had formed in the corner of his forehead. Steven fell to the sand in fright, but another took away his whole hand when he landed on it.

"WWAHH! OH, OH! STOP! ...Wah! Oof!" Steven fell for the second time as his foot and ankle gave way to a head. More began cropping up and retreating in a ceaseless cycle all over the boy's body. "Arrg! _Dad_!" The boy continued his journey back home with difficulty.

* * *

Sadie and Lars were throwing the last of the trash out by the road when Steven's cat strewn body struggled towards their general direction.

 **ReReReReewewewew**

"Gah! SADIE, WHAT THE HECK _IS_ THAT THING?"

"I don't _know_! Grab the-Wait! Listen to it!"

"Daaaad... Saaadiiie... Laaarrs…"

"S-steven?"

"SADIE!" Steven groaned in pain, "Help! The cat fingers are taking over my body!"

Lars thought the problem would've gone away, not become escalated, "What about the _ladies_?! They co—"

"They weren't there!" Steven interrupted.

Sadie started to get things under control, "H-Hold on, Steven! We'll get you out! Lars, call Greg; get him here _ASAP_!"

"Yeohkay!"

Sadie got closer to Steven and tried to simply move the cats off of him, but one bit her arm and flung her away.

"Sadie! No! Bad! Bad Cat Fingers!" Steven's body steps in a puddle and the cats reacted badly: they jumped most of the way to the roof of the Wash.

"So, you can't make them go away?!" Sadie tried to get some information.

"I _tried_! But it just made it worse!" The boy was lamenting his situation, "Oooh, my life is over! I can't help you guys at work! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll probably die of thirst since these things hate—Water! They hate water!"

"STEVEN!" Greg's van screeched to a stop.

"Dad! They hate water! Spray me with the hose!"

"LARS, turn on the water to the hose!"

"WHAT WILL A _HOSE_ DO?!"

"JUST _DO IT_!"

"I ALREADY _AM_! I'M JUST ASKING!?"

 **RRRROWOWOWWRRR**

"IT'S NOT LIKE _WE_ KNOW EITHER! DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE IDEAS?! _ANYTHING_!?"

"NO?!"

"THE HOSE ISN'T WORKING!"

"THEN WHY ARE THEY REACTING SO BADLY?!"

"WE _NEED_ MORE WATER!"

"I DON'T REALLY THINK THE OTHER HOSE WILL HELP, STEVEN!"

"THE BEACH! HELP ME GET TO THE BEACH!"

"WHAT IF YOU DROWN?!"

"YOU GUYS WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME!"

"RIGHT!"

The yelling that barely presided over the caterwauls from Steven's body ceased as the three adults stood around him. He travelled over a line of rocks that separated solid land from sand and fell a short distance from the slope that began the cliffs the lighthouse rested on.

 **MeMMMeMeooooowowowww**

"Auh! Ow..."

"You're doing _great_ , Steven!"

"Not much further!"

"KEEP! _GOING_!"

Steven reached the wet sand and a wave came rushing up to him. He struggled against the retreating cats but they began to pull him back.

 **MRMRRRMREEEEOOOWOWW**

"No! No, no, no, no, _nooo_! Ah!"

"Hold on, Steven, we're still here!" Greg palliated.

With the cats shying from the water, Steven's body was mostly free from disfigurement from the front; all of his changing flesh having retreated to his back. Greg and Sadie each grabbed one of his arms and began to pull him towards the water. Lars started throwing handfuls of sand at the heads that turned their attention to the two hindrances.

As soon as Steven felt far in enough, he wrenched out of his guardians' hands and dunked himself under the surface. His bulk was now too big to be completely submerged, so he traveled further and tried again. He got the idea to roll and, when that didn't work, he took a deep, lasting breath and lodged himself to the bottom by having dug his hands and feet in the sand.

At the surface, the adults could only see brief flashes on fur and a lot of splashing that became less and less. As it calmed, Greg took the risk to get closer and closer, calling for his son as he went.

Lars hadn't gotten into the water yet, "I...think it's done."

"But _where's_ Steven?" Sadie was looking around and behind where Greg wasn't, "He's still _UNDER_?!"

"STEVEN!" Greg called.

"Steven! Come up!" Sadie urged.

Lars was pointing his cell-phone light, "There's something to your left Greg!"

"I got it!" Greg pulled up the boy, "Steven!"

"Dad!" Steven coughed up a small bit of water, "We did it!"

A cat finger formed again in a delayed manner.

 **Mrew**

"Wahhh!"

"Ahhhh!"

They dunked Steven's whole hand under the water until it disappeared.

"Oh... Oh, man." Greg held the boy as he retreated back up to the shore.

Steven shivered from being wet and at the release of adrenaline, "Well, I don't think I like cats now."

"...Where did you get a light?" Sadie asked.

Lars was trying to turn it off, "It's just my phone."

"That's smart!" Greg complimented.

"The water's _dark_ , so I got some _light_ to help look for him."

"Really, Lars, that was a good idea." Sadie tried to convince him. "...Although, now we're looking to buy to new phones. Mine won't turn on."

"We'll try drawing the water out with rice first. Now, let's get this tired man home. He's already out."

"He _was_ supplying energy to multiple brains and a few other organs for most of the day. ...What?"

 **Bonus:**

"These donuts will last me for weeks!"

"Ah, Mayor Dewey, sir!"

"Mayor Fogger, sir!"

"Did you hear the news about go ol' Mayor Washers?"

"No."

"You know Ocean Town?"

"Yeah."

"They're gonna reopen it for him; the Washer's legacy will be returned, sir. ...May I have a donut?"


	7. Bubble Buddies

**Donut Family**

AU

[Rebecca Sugar, Kat Morris and Aleth Romanillos.]

 _Exposition: CONNIE is introduced. Also Steven's bubble. Also Onion and Funland, to a small degree-which is why the latter two are not in this chapter._

— _I have one or two of the the texting brackets inside quotations because I feel Steven would definitely sound out his typing/texting/writing a bit. He would also say the punctuation: * = asterisk.—_

 **Tid-Bit Notes:** Steven has lived around adult logic more than magic logic, so he won't go crazy with the stupid ideas. But that leaves me with the interesting solution to how they get into the ocean that you'll get to explore here. Also: Check out the flashback for this episode in, Donut Family Shorts!

 **-artisticRadifyer**

 **Ch. 7 Bubble Buddies**

"What kind of monster do you think that is?"

"Monster?"

"Well it's certainly not earthquakes."

"Right."

"Maybe a giant bird! Or a really fast monster with cool tongue! Or a floating pufferfish! Or—"

"What if it's the one the gems were fighting the day Steven summoned his shield? _It_ screamed a lot."

"The monsters the gems fight don't really...come back. Not that I've seen, anyway."

"Besides, that one wasn't big enough to make earthquakes; we all saw it on the lighthouse. There weren't any—"

"There's a girl on the beach! By herself! ...I've seen her at the parade before!" Steven interrupted their 'debate' with his important observation before someone started yelling.

Greg was the first to join Steven by the doorway he was lingering in, "Huh. So there is."

"Steven, you should go talk to her!" Sadie suggested.

"What?" the boy asked.

"Heheh." Lars figured this would be funny, "Go see how badly you can get rejected."

"I could totally show off my new bike to her!"

"Keep your phone on you, Steven." Greg reminded.

"Tell me if you're coming for lunch too; people are coming to tour, remember." Lars didn't want the boy eating the guests' food.

Steven knew that was important, "Do you need help cleaning? Or anything?"

Greg tried to ease his son's energy, "You know it looks fine already, Steven."

"But these are super important! They keep the wash going! Text me if I can do anything; promise!"

"We give our word, young Son."

"OhkayByeee!"

Lars raced to grab an old VHS from out of his and Sadie's conjoined room, "Ohkay, put on the show; he's gone."

Greg shook his head at the two huddled near the small television and VHS, "You two have some gory taste."

* * *

Steven rode his bike into the beach's sand and over by the girl who sat against the bottom of the small cliffside, "Sm-Smooth ride... Five speeds... Hand brakes... Electric-blue finish with a tiger bell..." The referred bell rang to compliment the statement. "I bet there are a lotta kids who'd like to ride this ba-Whoa!" Steven fell over with his bike.

The girl looked up at him.

"Uh... AAH!" Steven ran away, back to the Old Wash in retreat. He panted just inside the doorway and found all three of the normal residents of the wash staring at him intently. "What's up?"

"What's she like?" Greg asked.

"Huh?"

Sadie tried a different question, "You talked right?"

"Uh. No? She was reading."

"Well. You tried." Lars figured it was over and done with.

"No, no, no." Sadie put herself in front of Lars, "Steven, go back out there. Make a new friend! See if she's new to the city, ask her what she's reading, go get something to eat!"

"Just have fun, Stew-Ball." Greg added.

"I have fun all the time." Steven was confused at their insistence.

Sadie took his tone as needing encouragement, "So, get on back out there!"

"Yeah! Don't watch me this time! It'll mess up my funky flow!"

"Funky flow?"

"We won't watch, Stee-Man." Greg assured.

Steven remembered to grab a frozen glow-bracelet from his Cookie-Cat-freezer.

"What's that?" Lars asked.

"Nothing!"

"Should we go back to the show or watch the drama unfold?"

Greg sighed, "He said not to watch him, guys."

"Girls never follow that rule," Sadie said.

"It won't _hurt_ him, man," Lars added.

"...I do need to keep an eye on my son." Greg caved.

"That's the idea."

* * *

"Hi. My name is Steven. Hi. My name is Stee-ven. Hi. My name is, Stev-in."

 **rrrrrroooooOOOOOOAAAAARARAWAWWWW**

"Whooah. Oh! Ah!" Steven spotted a piece of the rock face crack and begin to fall towards the girl. He raced to her, "HI! MY NAME IS, STEVEN!"

The girl dropped her book as she is bowled into by Steven and a pink bubble forms around the two; which protects them both from the rubble that fell onto it.

"Whoa. How did I _do_ that? ...Hi. My name, is Steven."

"...Connie. What... _happened_?"

Steven helped Connie stand up, "I'm magic—Well, half-magic; on my mom's side."

" _You_ did this?"

"Apparently. I'm gonna be a member of the Crystal Gems. They fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff."

"Oh! That's kinda like my dad. He's a cop. Well, more like a private security guard. ...So... How long does it usually last?"

"Oh! Right! Hnnnng! NNNNGG!" Steven slapped his own gemmed belly uselessly.

"What's wrong?"

"It uhhh...doesn't seem to wanna go away."

"Oh..."

Steven began pressing up against the side of the bubble he was on to try and move it, "Nmf... So, I don't see you around that often."

Connie came to stand beside him and help roll the ball over some rocks, "My dad works for a bunch of different beaches. So, we're never in the same place long."

"I go on adventures with the Gems...sometimes. It usually seems like they're just a little too dangerous for me, though." Steven pushed harder, the rocks gave way a small inch and he falls down.

"Do you _always_ go in a bubble?"

"No. This is new. I don't know _what_ this is. It could be a mom thing, it could be a me thing... They should really tell me more about mom. But it's ohkay! The Gems still might know what to do." Steven texted his father, [Gem thing happened. Gonna go see if they can help.]

[are you in a pink ball]

[Like a hamster!a] [It might be a long while…]

[good luck] [if you get stuck in the sand tell me]

The two children attempted to roll up a hill, but physics resisted them. Steven called up to the temple, yet no one came down, "Ohkay, they could be gone for weeks at a time to do missions; I don't wanna wait forever so we can just go to the Old Wash."

"'Old Wash'?"

"Yeah, I live there!"

Steven texted his father again, [Gems aren't there, so we're coming back.]

[we] [?]

[Yeah! Connie is in here tooa!]

[oh i though you only got yourself in there]

[Nope.]

[well we got the guest rented for the next two or three days] [they will probably be gone for the evening by time ur back]

"Connie what's your last name?"

"Maheswaran. Why?"

"Dad's gonna wanna call you by your last name in the beginning; you'll have to tell him what name you want him to use yourself."

"Ohkay."

[Her name is Connie Mahayshwaren?] [Mahesharin]

"How do you spell it?"

"M-A-H-E-S-W-A-R-A-N."

"Mk, [Maheswaran*]. There."

When the two arrived, Greg was lounging outside waiting for them, "—"

"Dad!" Steven observed his dad talking, but no sound was filtering through the bubble. "Um."

"He _is_ talking right?"

"Yeah... I guess the bubble is soundproof."

"...Hm. Oh! Steven, text him!"

"Yeah!" [We can't hear you!]

Greg had started tapping on the surface of the bubble at some point, and the children watched him notice his blinking phone, [oh]

[So?]

[well you brought it out so why did you]

[I was protecting Connie from a falling piece of cliff! It woulda killed her?m!]

[oh man] [so heat of the moment protection] [but youre safe now and its not leaving] [?]

[Yeah, it won't leave.]

[how calm are you tho] [you still look really nervous]

[I think] [I'm nervous Connie won't be my friend after this.]

[shell come around and be perf fine]

[Can we break it?]

[ill go get lars and sadie]

"...Where's he going?"

"OH! He's going to get Lars and Sadie. They're all gonna try and break the bubble."

"Huh. How?"

"I dunno. They've got some interesting ideas when they conductively work together."

"Alright. Do you think we can do anything from in here?"

"Uh. Do you have anything sharp?"

"Besides my nails or my glasses, I don't. And I'm not using my glasses."

"It's either nails or we can try repeatedly hitting one side..."

"That sounds kinda painful though. I'd rather try scratching."

"Oh! Lars and Sadie have been out here while we were talking!"

Lars is seen licking the bubble on Steven's side and Sadie turned agitated. Greg shot a look and a comment over to them, and Lars pouted. Sadie left and returned with a hammer. Greg took to her example and is soon equipped with a single hand saw. Lars has to be told to retrieve something and comes back with one of the weapons the male's parents were going to use against the Red Eye. A small argument began to pick up as the children watch,

"Why does he have an AR-15?"

"Uh... You know what kind of gun that is?"

"My dad makes sure I know gun safety, and when school is in recess, we're only allowed informational books... That's just what happens when you don't have friends and you don't get asked to play games. ...Y-you read about everything."

"Heh... Oh, hey! They're going at it again!"

All three people were doing something to the pink, indestructible bubble: Steven's father with the saw, the young lady with the nail-removing side of the hammer now, and the young man with a driver golf-club. The latter was swinging halfheartedly, and the precursor to him gets frustrated enough to storm inside the building. Sadie races back out just as Lars gives the club a serious swing, and the children inside were in the process of falling when the stool she carried collides with the bubble on the same side as Lars' strike.

Steven and Connie fell over each other a few times before they slowed and Steven's position allowed him to warn Connie about their next course of action:

"Connie, _hold ooOOONNN_! AAAAAHHHH!"

"AAAAHHHH!"

The two children tipped over the edge of the rocks that separate the beach from normal ground and, between the slope and the momentum the two gained, rolled right into the shallows. The water slowed them down significantly, but then the liquid controlled the defensive sphere. Churned currents tumbled it until the ball grew too heavy and deposited it to the seabed.

"Where are we?"

Steven handed back the girl's glasses, "The bottom of the ocean..."

"Hhhh!"

"I-it's ohkay!"

"Are we even _close_ to the shore?!"

"Yeah! Sure!"

"Let's start rolling."

"It's a good thing this bubble is airtight. Otherwise we'd be drowning right now." Steven's tense laugh trailed into silence before he spoke up again, "Don't worry, Connie. I have an idea that will definitely work. When we get back—"

 **mooorRRROOOOOOWww**

"Ah!"

"Whoa!"

"Ahh!"

"A huge worm! It's ohkay. Look! It only wants to eat that bright stuff." The huge worm begins to chomp at some glowing, pink seaweed. "See? Not scary at all."

 **GWWWRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHhhhhh**

A crevice opens under the bubble, by cause of the worms roar, and the entire device and people inside fall deeper into the ocean.

"Ughh... Oh! S-sorry!" Steven removes his foot from Connie's face. "Are you alright?"

"..."

"It's not _so_ bad... I-it's ohkay! I, uh—"

"IT'S _NOT_ OHKAY! You keep saying that, but YOU don't know what you're doing! Now we're going to _suffocate_ or _starve_ at the bottom of the ocean," Connie begins to cry, "and only my parents will notice because no one else cares about me!"

"Whoa! Hey, no!"

"I'm gonna disappear without ever making a single friend..."

"We can be friends. I saw you drop your bracelet at the Boardwalk Parade last year. I saved it in freezers to keep it glowing; since I couldn't find you when I got it."

"Oh! You were on that donut float. You had clumps of _sprinkles_ or something in your hair."

"I was a just messy employee... Which I still am, I suppose... I'm sorry, Connie." The boy puts the bracelet onto the girl, "If I had found you back then, you wouldn't be stuck in this bubble with me now."

"You're a really nice person, Steven. I don't think that would have changed anything."

The bubble popped, and the two found their way to the surface. The monster worm surfaced seconds after the children and washed them both ashore. The three guardians that had been looking for them get drenched and go briefly unnoticed when the children scrambled to their feet.

Lars saw the monster first, "WHAT the—"

Greg had only seen the children so far, "STEVEN!"

"DAD?! DON'T COME _CLOSER_! RUN!" Steven ran with Connie further away from his three caretakers, "They're good, but not _this_ good!"

"Let's hide in the rocks, Steven!" Connie yelled.

They tried to get to the rocks at the base of the pier near them, but the worm ran them down before they make it to cover. Steven saw no reason for it to be chasing them, "Why is it chasing us?!" The worm lunged towards Connie's side, and the boy saw the glow bracelet, "The bracelet! It eats bright stuff! CONNIE!"

"Steven?!"

"Gimme the bracelet!" He took it before he continued over her confusion, "It's ohkay! Now go, _GO_! Run that way! Ah! I'm sorry!"

Steven lead the worm on a wild chase between the pillars holding up Funland's second pier until it stuck tight. Its struggles caused the pier to collapse upon it and the monster poofed out of existence.

"Steven! Are you two alright?!" Greg asked.

"Yeah..."

"How did you not _DIE_?" Lars questioned.

Sadie was quick to defend the half-magical boy, "You underestimate him! He basically got Frybo by himself!"

Greg hugged the two kids, "I'm so glad you two are ohkay!"

Steven tried to tone down Sadie's praise in front of Connie, "I got help from Pearl that time..."

"You didn't have any help _this_ time!" the woman said.

"How do we even know it _was_ Steven?" Lars asked, tired of the excitement.

Connie wasn't to hear Steven be put down twice in her range of hearing, "It _was_ him! He was _incredible_!"

"See?" Sadie was smug with her answer, "He has a witness."

"Really, Connie?" Steven asked. The referred nodded positively and he remembered the glowing object in his hand, "Uh. Here's your bracelet... Again."

"Thanks."

Greg was ready to wrap this up, "So, are you going to introduce us?"

"He was so excited to meet you!" Sadie added.

"Um—" Steven started.

"Hi. I'm Lars. You're Connie. Bye."

Greg was appalled by the younger male's dismissal, "Wha— _Lars_! That's not polite!"

"I'm Sadie Miller. He's Lars Barriga."

"I'm Greg Universe! And—"

"He's my dad!"

"Your last name is Universe?" Connie asked. "Cool!"

"Come and have dinner with us." Greg invited.

"Oh! Yeah, she can meet MC Bear-Bear! After we drop this gem off..." Steven trailed off as picked up the Gem.

Connie hadn't quite caught the identity of the name he'd said, "Who?"

 **Bonus:**

"Hello!"

"Hello, ?"

"Yes. You're here to see both rooms?"

"Yes."

"Right this way."

"Sadie! Where'd you put the bread?"

"You KNOW I'm not tall enough to even get it without a chair!"

"I also know you're too _lazy_ to put it back!"

"...I've still got it! Sorry for yelling."

"We have company!"

"..."

"You have a lively household. That's very pleasant to see. Ours is so quiet now that our kids have moved out."

"We have a kid. He's out playing with one of his friends, though."

"YOU have a kid! I do not have _anything_ to do with that magical Belly Button!"

"I'm not even close to being ready for kids..."

"I can't wait to meet him too!"


End file.
